Chained to a world that does not alow you to belong!

‘I’m not sure how I’m supposed to go on now,’ I said to myself, looking at the universe expectantly. ‘I’m really not sure,’ I said a minute later, just as though my confusion was building up by the minute. Then I realised, perhaps us humans are put into this loop of confusion to keep our minds alive, with thoughts, searching for alternatives and options not to necessarily answer a specific question, but perhaps by these several new options we come up with that day, we will be able to sleep lighter that night . . . knowing we are one step closer, or one step farther away from insanity, loneliness, and/or hopelessness.

‘Forgive me God for I have sinned’…a line that I say everyday to the extent where my mind got used to hearing it being said and over and over up to the point that my subconscious mind began to whisper it even when my conscious mind was busy somewhere else. Its as if the two worlds of the subconscious and the consciousness come together to pray to God for his forgiveness, to save me from my sins, to save me from what this world together with my uncontrolled self have brought upon me. I am ashamed by myself, but I would rather be ashamed, low to the point of begging for mercy and forgiveness than to walk proud in a world like this.

And there they go again... They tried to make me go to rehab I said no, no, no. Yes I been black, but when I come back! I aint got the time, And if my Daddy thinks im fine, I dont need no rehab!