Flippin'Abortive'Mad!

Today I will be talking about a sensitive issue…Yes…Abortion!

But before I go any further, let me show you some images that tore my heart to pieces....we all know how abortion sounds like.. but these are glimpses of how it looks like....

But before you scroll down i must warn you! these images are nasty and hard to the core! so if you're strong enough.. be my guest to view reality as it is.. if not.. quickly scroll down to my first passage....

Salt poisoned Aborted Baby

8 weeks old in amniotic sac

Disposable babies are sometimes left in a bucket to die following a failed abortion.

Last night I was listening to a new song and I declared it my favourite song of the year. It mixed all the feelings in the core of my womb, making me feel more of a woman than anyone could ever assume. It’s a song by Flypside whereby Pipper the rapper writes a ‘happy birthday’ song for his unborn child whom he had never met. He paid for the abortion before they could even determine the sex but as he imagined him being a little baby boy and it just stuffed him up with guilt, fume and gloom. He was young and she was not ready, so to save their lives, they had to take the life of their baby straight to the tomb. I will leave you with the lyrics at the end but for now, let me explode; let these pages read my feelings. I never really thought deeply about the issue of abortion. The furthest I ever got to was that to some people it was a forbidden matter, to others it was an escape of responsibility that they knew they could not handle. I accepted it as that, nothing more nothing less. Today however, my mind was filled with questions; I spent my day trying shoes of all sizes of all the women who had experienced abortion. I tried to play and take in the role emotionally and it frankly....it drained my heart out. I thought, “what if I was rapped and impregnated at the age of 16, would I have the baby or have an abortion? What if I had an abortion at the age of 14 because i was attacked day and night by the fear of confronting my father and also because if he knew it meant my mom’s death alongside mine? What if I was impregnated at the age of 19 with no one on my side? I have no family to belong to; my parents are dead, my friends are busy with their future, and my boyfriend is more of a foe now than a friend, who will listen to me? Who will help me out and tell me it’s all alright? How can I have the strength to tell my baby “it’s okay…mama’s here...don’t worry baby” when I spend every night flipping and turning from side to side on a bed of worries, wrapped up in tears and whisked in an insecure blender. I cannot take care of myself to have the power and the strength to take care of this little infant who needs my all and more. How will I face the world if I come from a society that does not allow intercourse before marriage, and I, have committed the biggest sin? I no longer fit in and have to live with the guilt and the shame I brought to myself and my family. What will happen of me and to me? When I see a mother with her baby will I imagine how it might have felt as my baby laid peacefully on my left shoulder listening to my heart beats as I felt her little movements gave her my finger to wrap her little fingers around? Would I imagine her little baby-talks as she mumbles gibberish and tries to call me ‘mama’? Will she have my dimple on her right cheek, honey-brown eyes and massive cute smile?” I don’t really know…but all I know is that I miss her already and love her ever more even though her existence remained in my mind. I am looking at this from my internal self, regardless of what all religions say about it, killing is killing, whether it’s in the streets or in the womb. I spent hours with rushing thoughts, feelings and different foresights. its hard.. on everyone.. even if you're not involved...but knowing some other human is created and killed before even being completed hurts..becuase you had a chance.. and now that you are alive and breathing.. are you making use of this chance ? are you being all you want to be or could be? or are you taking all this blessing for adavantage?

You know what else... maybe if women had more support...they wouldnt feel so alarmed and frightened to be left alone in this world with a massive responsibilty... a baby. when you give birth to a baby, make sure u understand and you aknowledge the fact that with this baby comes a full-time responsibility throughout you're life and perhaps even after your death....this child must be secure. and most women feel like they cannot do it because they are not secure in the first place.....so maybe if there was more help. more support, in all means not just in words i mean financially i mean in all terms true help... then less women will have the need to go through this drastic experience. because no one..... no one wants it... and come to think of it..maybe this is a plan from God! ... maybe this baby you fear the most becomes your only source of happiness... you never know..

I thanked God from the bottom of my womb for not having to be placed in such a situation, because I would never choose abortion as a solution. Perhaps abortion was forbidden because God spent so much time creating every one of us; blowing into our soul’s life to start the beats in our heart and the blood circulation in our little tiny bodies. The words of mother Teresa echo in the back of my mind as if they were mine. She said, “Abortion is a murder in the womb... A child is a gift of God. If you do not want him, give him to me”. Today, I stand tall and repeat her words, truthfully meaning it. I might not have the best bank account to make all a child’s dreams come true, but I have the future in my heart. All the materialistic things in the world never felt the same to me as my father’s very own words, “you’re my all-time baby girl…you always make me proud of you”, or the nick-name my mother gave me the day she laid her beautiful black eyes on me, calling me her very own little Gazelle. These words mean the world to me, and belong to no other but me. My parents made me feel like I belong to their love, and never to the brutal world out there. In their heart I resided in safety and security, and when it was time for me to leave my cocoon, they backed me up as I took my first steps to the world. It was massive, cold, and mysterious and unpredictable. Sometimes I felt like I wasn’t meant to belong in it as it was overcrowded by perfect people and I was as far from perfect as the moon was to the sun. But I fought for a place in it, created goals and dreams and continued to work my way to them. I asked questions and made my personal experience my own answering-guide. When the world was brutal to me and made me doubt my own existence, I thought harder “I think therefore I am”, I wept to feel the tears and know I was real, and when life deserted me, I crawled myself back to my mother’s arms because on days where I felt like a nobody, she made me feel like an Everybody.