When reality becomes a demon, I rely on my dreams to be my angels

Well well well, if it’s not my clean and plain document open again just waiting for me to rain my words on. You’ll be surprised for how long it’ll rain... Leave your brolly’s (umbrella) at home ladies and gents! that is only if you are prepared to be soaked wet. You see, although this blog relates to me mostly, I have started to think about making a weekly counselling column in a new website. The problem is, I have very little time to construct my own website and maintain the updates as well as the general topics... so I am thinking of proposing my column to a friend of mine who already has a website, but until then, you will always find me here.

Sometimes I feel very vulnerable when I ask for something that I really really want but I am refused in return. I try to convince my self that I was o-k-a-y before noticing the item that I feel the need for, the want, the necessity of, but my feelings cling onto it as though if there was a chance of not getting it, I would be devastated to a stage of an eventual and painful slow death. I don’t like to be melodramatic or to feel like a Drama-Queen, but what is it about the soul that looks externally and blocks what’s available internally? Is it my ego? Is it my baby side wanting anything and everything that glitters in front of my hungry and curious wide eyes? Or is it just boredom and vice that drives my needs to shallow limits...and why is money always an issue?

A financial counsellor once said that money is an issue to the poor and the wealthy. I think it is the one blessing that never reaches a satisfying and adequate quantity. Meaning, that the wealthy and the poor always have the need for more, regardless of whether they really need it or not. Now in some cases, money is needed for daily survival, for others, it is needed for the security of the future, and in our twenty-first centaury, it is needed for happiness....Oh well, I’ll just pull myself out of this box, I am beginning to feel the suffocation of a materialistic plastic world.....

“I really think that I should have a very important and big aim to achieve in my life that fills my everyday with significant tasks needing to be met in the soonest time possible. OF course that is to kill boredom and replace it with priorities which in the long run, will bring me closer to personal development and humanistic wholeness and goodness. I am now in the process of finding that one big aim. Although I have found my aims a long time ago, but they continue to shuffle before my eyes making it hard for me to grab just one! All I know is that my aim does not really concern me alone, yet, it includes a large portion of the human population. I am very glad to have studied a major which is concerned with the psychological and emotional welfare of people. Sadly, I have left the physical side for the doctors and surgeons, but my limits carry the human brain and the human heart, the two most complicated and yet, substantial and essential keys to one’s life and condition. I AM, THE PROUD GRADUATE, OF A PSYCHOLOGY AND COUNSELLING MASTERS COURSE... and I present a beautiful bouquet of thankfulness to the source of optimistic encouragement and ever so kind soul, my supervisor Dr. Asiya Siddique.” (I think I have just created a draft of my graduation speech...)

I should get a nap after my evening prayer... I hardly get any sleep lately anyways. I have tried several sleeping techniques, but nothing beats that super-charge evening nap that wakes you up with the strongest headache yet, burns you with sizzling energy... Forget counting sheep, unless you're trying to lie awake a little longer...Just let your body guide you to comfort... and eventually to sleep.

Good afternoon everyone, and May all your noons be as sweet as the sight of a screamy white and dazzling moon.