Injustice anywhere, is a threat to Justice Everywhere!

It has been a long while since I last sat in front of my laptop, ready to explode, ready to disclose. My eyes have been either glued to thick old books, or to Power Point creating and designing my presentations. Sometimes I believe that I work best when I am under pressure. It is the only time that I reach points beyond my expectations. I like this about myself. Whenever I set for a certain point I usually reach a step beyond it, which gives me great pleasure because I feel like I received an extra push from a force within me which knows how hard I have been working and wants to encourage me in an indirect way. After two weeks of complete disarray I was a hair away from having a fanatically frantic hysteria. I decided to ask my friend to come for a day with me to Bristol, just for a quick change and come back on the same day. It was literally an eight hours drive, but worth it. Mostly, I liked the feeling when I was driving from Manchester to Bristol. It felt like I was leaving a burden away and the faster I went the more exhilaration I experienced. And as I let the windows down, I began to feel my lungs expanding once again as fresh air continued to surpass my oesophagus in and out in a circulation. That very moment I realised that perhaps my body needed an escape away more than my soul. I am leaving Manchester to the country side, to remind my eyes of other natural colours, greens blues and yellows. Also to free my soul and let it run around wild as I let go of my worries, for a couple of hours. Every once in a while, we just need to be free of chores, free of worry, free of any internal and/or external chaotic environment… then only we can be ourselves and come down to ourselves, then only we can be human and only human without the excess of materialistic stains; so if freedom is a fruit we all long to taste from time to time, why do we cut the trees that produce it.

Wherever we go we leave a print. . . .

We ride up softly to the hidden. We strive for another day even though we have no clue of what it brings to us. Happiness or misery both lay in the hands of our unseen God. Yet as human beings, we continue to live on a 50 percent probability that something extremely horrific can happen and shatter our lives to completely damaged particles or clinch with optimistic souls on a hope of 50 percent probability for something almost magnificently great to happen and change our life. But just how keen are we to change our life. Personally, I am happy now, I know things can be better, but they can also be worse! I must live today, but be well prepared for tomorrow, which also means that I cannot focus on only one thing that day as I live it, I have to eventually prepare, plan, organize and hope for tomorrow.

Everyday…..in my little corner of this immense world I lose myself in careless wonders of how complex and powerful human beings are. They have the energy to focus on reality whilst dreaming of another fantasy. They walk with such confidence but lay subtle with emotions like little newborns deep inside . . . . Just like Cocoa glazed Swiss rolls I think! (hard on the out, mushy on the inside)…They are Always in a battle with the little loud voices within and when they lose their track they eventually find their way back sooner or later. They help others and help themselves and even when they lose, its another man’s gain!

I believe . . . . . in every human lay particles of an atom from a star.

. . . . to my manchester self again~

Today I travelled back from London to Manchester. I was in London for five nights for two purposes. One was to attend my friend’s graduation, and another for an important medical appointment. Both went really well. I saw my friends after a long time, and it all just stimulated a side of me which I’ve been missing for a while now! I missed being the person I am when I am with them; lively, careless, daring, and simply amusing.I just discovered something new about myself when I was on the train coming back. I now realise why I have moments of confusion when I change situations, environments, and relations. With every person, in every place, a new me and an old me meet to give birth to a new feeling. Sometimes I also see some of my friends in me. I don’t think its all negative influence, but it’s nice, because I am a blend of myself, and a blend of all the people I met throughout my life. I can become an open guest-book. However, I love how the real me remains radiant in the core of my personality, in my mind and my style. Come to think of it, I even have my own style. I love how I have so many different styles ranging from chick to vintage to classic to posh. It just depends on my mood the morning I wake up. I slip into the style that suits my mood and the person I am that day. Perhaps I am more than one person; perhaps I am 20 people who only come alive when they are all combined. Like the human body . . . an organ alone cannot function until all other organs are functioning perfectly well too.When I am in London, I live my days busy as a bee. Faces to see, places to go, things to do! It’s a lively and active week on my agenda and my bank account, not so much on my library account though! .. the only time I probably use my reading skills is when I am reading a restaurant’s menu, a price tag or a receipt! .. as shallow as that sounds, it’s actually nice for a little change. But I simply cannot live my whole life this way, not even if I had the option to! .. I actually missed being surrounded by books in a massive library as I hide between racks filled with books of all topics and subjects. I miss writing notes up to the point where I can almost hear my fingers complaining to my mind to send signals to my consciousness so that I would put the pen down and rest my hands. I miss printing off important papers and organizing my file for future reference, in case I ever need to go back for a look. Most of all, I miss this..i miss typing random personal thoughts, it just relaxes me in some special way.As for now…it’s almost mid-night.. I will just lay on the couch and relax before I take a long sleep for a productive day tomorrow. I’ll arrange the flowers and place them by my bed to start my day with a gentle scent of fresh orange orchids and wild yellow roses.Nighty nights, tight hugs, lotsa little cute wishies

Bashful Bomb!

Being an all time bashful baby, I realised it was time for me to stretch out and leave my shell. Perhaps someone else needs this shell, for I surely have worn it for a very long time. Part of being an international student is meeting new people. It has to happen sooner a later, adapting to my new environment, to a new culture, new people from across the world. It is an influence which I cannot resist or avoid even if I wanted to. No matter how hard it was at first, it became better with time. By engaging in various conversations with others, debates in classes, and discussions in meetings, I began to understand myself and listen to myself as I spoke my thoughts out loud. I was used to hearing my thoughts in my mind, but when I actually spoke them out, I gained more self-respect, more self-awareness, and confidence in myself. I finally understood the notion of communication; how one has to be careful of his/her thoughts for they can turn to words, and words can become actions, which later on become habits, and habits then become characters. From communication, I learnt the gift of listening. It’s sometimes hard to listen to others, but it can be a door to someone else’s within, a window to an untold story, and an atom of hope that builds into a galaxy of comfort. Some people need to be listened to more than their need for oxygen or water. I am glad I chose to study the field of counselling, because from this I am now able to connect to others as to myself, and help others unfold a locked world within that has been tapping the doors of disclosure for so long. Come to think of it, if nature gave us one tongue and two ears then this means we could hear twice as much as we speak, so why not!